Cool Cat isn’t all that cool

Chris McCormack, Staff Writer

Cool Cat Saves the Kids is one of the worst movies I’ve ever had the displeasure of watching. Director Derek Savage has created something more akin to a social experiment than an actual movie. Though, to the movie’s credit, there is some kind of asinine, even morbid interest.

Cool Cat Saves the Kids reminds of horrendously oversimplified instructional videos designed to teach even the most inept child the basics of what it is teaching, though what’s being detailed is foggy at best.

It combines gun safety, coping with bullies, substandard cinematography and confusing dancing and singing numbers, which all stockpile into a heaping mess of disgusting fallacies of directing and acting.

The movie’s plot is very shallow, revolving around a protagonist named Cool Cat with his many young friends, as well as a character aptly referred to as Daddy Derek. These characters are often antagonized by an online predator named Butch the Bully. The general plotline follows the characters attempting to cope with and prevent the cyber bullying acts.

As hellaciously superficial as the plot is, the acting is amateurish by juxtaposition. Lines are delivered in flat monotone or with false enthusiasm and lacked needed effect or punchiness. Every line sounds redundant and out-of-place. The child actors are particularly lacking in these elements.

The writing is the worst by far. Stinkers such as “Why do they call you Cool Cat? They should call you Dumb Cat!” detract from the movie and make it an even more unbearable watch.

Cool Cat Saves the Kids is a lifeless movie with mouthwash-inducing acting, hokey characters, tedious plot, and deficient directing. It is soul-crushing and grating, and definitely deserving of the negative critical limelight it received.

I enjoy this movie to a certain degree, solely because of the awful nature of its production. Many critics claim it to be one of the illusive “so-bad-it’s-good” cinema titans. I, however, find it lukewarmly enjoyable at best, and I wouldn’t ever call it good in any sense of the word. It might be worth a watch as a result, just to observe what not to do in the production of a movie.

Of course, I still haven’t mentioned the destructive acts committed by the movie’s director.

Derek Savage belittles internet users and abuses the copyright system.

He destroys entire Youtube channels under the guise that videos criticizing the movie discriminate against the copyright system, which not only implicitly affects the lives of internet users, but also shows the moronic and insufferable nature of movie production at the moment.

Sketchy moves like this must be stopped without question. The power and responsibility handled by directors and higher-ups in the corporate business ladder is being misused. I appreciate the sentiment behind the copyright laws in our culture, but I don’t condone the shaky business practices provided by the businesses running our entertainment industries.